Back in September, I posted about my big plans to pursue nuring school, all the while homeschooling thing. I figured it would be 2 short years of torture, but I could get the job done and then I could do the part time work thing and the full time mom/teacher thing. Everyone in my life has been pushing me to do it now and it get it done and I figured it must be the right step in our life (of course, everyone else hates our homeschooling and wants us to quit that as well). Well I applied for the nursing program next year, and have been taking my last pre-reqs since then, and all that fun. I have been trudging along with all this, all the while wondering why this nagging uneasy feeling of mine wouldn't go away...instead it just kept building up, stronger and stronger, until it felt like a huge stress just sitting on my shoulders-there when I woke up and still there when I went to bed. I have been talking it out with Doug over and over again, and he finally admitted to me that he didn't want me to go to nursing school now or for a very long time. His words were "I want to hire you full time as mom/teacher ONLY-are you willing to take the job?"
I thought about this for a moment and just said yes instantly...and all my stress suddenly lifted. I wasn't stressed so much about the hard work involved with nursing, it was moreso that our homeschooling would have to be stringently planned to fit into the schedule and this wasn't what homeschooling was supposed to be about to me. The kids deserved more then that, especially when it involved their childhood/their schooling. In the grand scheme of life, they are only going to be little for SUCH a short period of time. I can always go back to school and pursue my nursing, but will I ever be able to steal these precious moments back from time??? We thoroughly enjoy the simpleness of our life-so why was I ready and willing to add a mess of complexity to it??? I am so excited that Doug has helped me set my priorities straight again-I got a little bit lost along the way but our life is headed back on track in regards to our bright future-for our children AND our family! :)
So from now on, its kids first...and second and third. I do some small things for myself (like weight watchers/many crafts), but only things I can incorporate into our family life without great disruption (as nursing school would have SURELY done). Now I just have to answer to everyone else-all those that heavily encouraged me (like my mother in law). No one will agree (most especially my dad who has been pushing me to get a job forever/be it teaching or nursing/and my sister won't be too happy bc she wanted us to go to nursing school/study together) but in my heart, this feels right for our family and thats what ultimately matters. I feel so blessed to share this life with Doug-we are one with our ideals/hopes/dreams-so no matter what others think, I know I have the full support of my other half!!! :)
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Girl you are so blessed to have a husband who sees the value in YOU and family, and not afraid to tell you what he wants!! Our heart is clearly revealed in our choices/decisions.
I, too, had started nursing school in 2002, and had considered the idea of going back soon. This world puts so much emphasis on making a buck, but I also am interested in missions someday and thought it was be a GREAT skill to have.
Then again I have realized my first and foremost "mission" is this family, as wife and mom, raising up souls who know where they come from and why they are here, to make a REAL difference someday. To snub feminism, which made me a latch key kid, and also made me guilty for wanting to be home with my kids, not seeing the value of it for so long.
There is something freeing about being in the security of home and family. Knowing what's most important and being free to purse just that. Not having to do it ALL, because I could never do it ALL well.
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