I'm jealous. Sometimes its hard to be one of those moms that had a (the) c-section(s). Today everyone was talking about their vaginal births with such vigor and excitement, with each subsequent's birth story being bigger and better then the last and sometimes it just feels like most women get to be in this bragging about their vag. birth club that I will never join. I will never be able to tell about how I labored for X amount of hours, or pushed for X amount of hours, bc I never really did any of that. Sure I got induced, and I had hours of crappy contractions that did absolutely NADA to my cervix. Everyone wants to hear about someone's labor and delivery, but nobody wants to hear about how I laid on a table, covered by a paper sheet, while my babies were cut out of me. Don't get me wrong, I cherish their births all SOOOOO much and although I am not 100% loving my c-sections (for the main fact that they limit the amount of children I can have), I still view each and every one of their births as the most beautiful, miraculous moments of my life!
I guess I just want my moment to be able to tell of those special days in life when other moms are doing the same. Even at times in the past when I have tried to chime in and tell my c-section stories, everyone just gives you the sympathy "oh, I would NEVER want to have to have one of those". It just makes me feel worse about c-sections (like the unlucky sucker), and I shouldn't feel that way, bc most likely I wouldn't have been able to have any of my babies without them. I become a mommy 5 times bc of my c-sections, and I am so incredibly lucky/blessed.
Most people view c-sections as the black sheep of birth, and while I surely don't push that everyone should have one, I still don't think they should be viewed as negatively as they are. It simply leaves us c-section moms feeling like we somehow failed ourselves (or at least, it leaves me feeling like that). I start thinking/picking apart my beautiful memories of Kylie's birth and trying to figure out where I went wrong, when ultimately there isn't a right or wrong to birth. If only we had full control over everything in birth...but unfortunately, God throws curveballs in our "plans" and life is all about experiencing the journeys of life, no matter which path you have to take there. Its just a different way to birth and I wish it got the respect it deserves (although its hard when movie stars are publically picking c-sections now as the "easy way out" to avoid pain-hahaha on them!). I don't adore having had c-sections (mostly bc I would have preferred a Duggar size family), but I feel so lucky that there is a way that I can have/birth my babies. I guess I just want my moment to shine/brag about the miracle of my children's births. I carried twins weighing 15 lbs total to 38.5 weeks of pregnancy, so nobody is going to convince that I haven't earned my bragging rights to each and every one of my c-sections, thats for sure!!!
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I have to agree I felt the same way yesterday...I listened with envy at all their beautiful stories of labor and delivery. I feel the same way and to make it all better...When baby Gavin came home last weekend I was talking to his mama about the delivery and my dad turns to me and said wow she beat you ha Jenn....I felt like saying "yes dad she was a better laborer than me AND i just suck at giving birth I can only have c-sections"...but instead I said yeah she did awesome and looks great. It's so hard to listen to all the stories and not be able to share the spotlight...because for some reason it's just not very glamorous to have a c-section...and not to may people are as excited to listen about a surgery, and for some reason people do think of a c-section as "the easy way out"...I think other wise....especially when I made it to 10cm pushed for 2hrs only for the doctor to tell me that the head was to big and I needed a c-section...I cryed my eyes out and begged telling them I would push harder....oh well it is was it is and we got our beautiful babies either way right:-)
awwww.....I would never think of you as less than because of your sections. The beautiful result makes it all worth it!! That is what counts, the healthy happy bouncing baby along with a HEALTHY momma.
Shoot, to be honest, to have my first child, I am such a whimp that I would have chosen a C-section if I could have because I was terrified. LOL
Jenn, I want to cry MY eyes out hearing how hurt you've been, and you too Melissa! I can't believe some people actually think a section was an "easy way out", because the recovery is much worse.
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